MY HISTORY
I was single for a LONG time. I’m that success story people like to tell their single friends about.
I met my husband, when I was 18. How? I went into the shop he worked in- ‘Wow, that guy was HOT.’ I whispered to my friend as we were leaving. Naturally, at this point, I made up my mind to… avoid that shop at all costs, in case I was to run into him again. Using this tactic, I can’t think why I remained single for so long. YEARS later and I was a happy(ish) and independent woman. By this point, I was, for the most part, pretty content with the way things were and thought, if I end up on my own, I end up on my own. However, our paths crossed again, when he started attending yoga (in a bid to pick up chicks). He didn’t want anything serious. We started hanging out- a lot. He asked THE question, fear in his eyes-‘where is this going?’ So, I told him how it was – advice I have given many friends since. ‘WELL, either this is going to carry on, or it’s going to fizzle out. These are our two options.’ We kept things pretty quiet; having been single for so long, I didn’t want people to get over excited (or myself for that matter). This ‘see how it goes attitude’ put his mind at rest too. 7 years, a house, a marriage, 3 cats and 2 children later, here we are, turns out, it WAS serious and there was nothing he could do about it!
LOVE IS HARD-YET VERY REWARDING
What have I discovered? Love takes huge amounts of give and take. One of the reasons my relationship works, is that my husband gives and I take. (not even kidding- my mum will agree). Then when I’ve taken too much, he lays the smack down, gives me a metaphorical kick up the arse and reality check and the give-take balance is restored to around the 50/50 mark…ok 60/40. If he were a different person, it just wouldn’t work. Things could easily be too volatile; he is the calm, where I am (at times), the storm. Having said this, his approach to life, positively affects me and makes me a waaaay better person. I become less stormy and more content. I believe in myself a bit more.
I probably don’t believe that there is just one person for everyone, but a spectrum of best fits. I am so lucky to have found such a fabulous fit. Things seem pretty blissful, huh? And they are. But it is not always the case, we have ups and downs- mainly induced by tiredness or me being a narrow-minded perfectionist (see HOW TO MAKE SOMETHING PERFECT ). Also, we have only been together 7 years, a mere drop in the ocean on the relationship scale. A final thought, I would describe myself as a positive realist and I personally think a small measure of the cold, cruel facts of life and an understanding that everything could all go to shit CAN make you appreciate things all the more and make them even better. Things could change, people change and no one can know what the future holds. SO love every good minute as much as you can- sometimes you need to give YOURSELF a kick up the arse to remember this.
WEDDING READINGS
I have had quite a lot of time to reflect on love, all that time single, of course, but also I became a bit of a wedding readings pro- didn’t make the bridesmaid cut! So, here are some of my thoughts on love, which I wrote and read at my yummy friend’s wedding
I’ve been thinking about love-
About it’s depth and complexity.
Vast like the ocean,
ever changing, never still.
How can one short word,
-L O V E-
be used to describe its ever changing presence?
By this I mean, every time you feel love, the sensation will have
changed.
Sometimes you feel only ever so slightly different, occasionally however the change will be
a great wave
transforming the love that had existed there before, or perhaps sparking the existence of a NEW love.
The love you felt this morning, is different from the love you feel now or the love you will feel in the distant future.
So, what even is love?
An emotion; a physical-chemical reaction; out of our control or a choice; something old and familiar or new, exciting-never previously experienced; something absolutely certain, but at other times, uncertain.
Well, all of this is love-You can love many different things, in completely different ways, all at the same time and you can most certainly love ONE thing above all others.
Sometimes love can be extremely stormy and out of control, sometimes it can involve great risk, sometimes it’s so beautiful and invigorating it’s beyond belief
but like the ocean, mostly, it’s just rolling over. Doing it’s thing, overlooked and taken for granted. Yet still, if you take the time to think about it, remarkable.
–
Whatever love is to you, it is a unique, unrepeatable journey
– LOVE IS – EVER CHANGING – NEVER STILL-
EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED
So I felt this was an appropriate story to share to illustrate my point. My friend messaged me last night, she has always LOVED Twirls. Twirls have been her chocolate bar of choice for as long as I have known her. She told me she had just had a bite of twirl and then a bite of whisper.
…she preferred the whisper.
Do I know her at all??? As I said, Love changes, we change. I still love her, no matter WHICH chocolate bar she likes the best- I know, our love it pretty strong!
A NOTE ABOUT VALENTINE’S DAY
We like to hang out with my best mate (her from choclategate) and her husband on Valentine’s day, I don’t know how the tradition began, but I highly recommend it. Special menus, lots of bubbles and a good laugh, it’s a chance to hang out without the pressure of making it a great romantic evening, because with mates, it’s going to be. Even if you got annoyed with each other before-hand (it happens, quite commonly with us at the moment, as we’re tired and trying to get the kids to bed before we go out and it’s stressful and I can’t choose an outfit that doesn’t make me look like a moron or isn’t 15 years old- it’s fine) and with friends, it is more easily put aside, no grudges, bonus!
Fine Artist 